Why would I go for a natural birth?

With being 6 weeks away from giving birth to my second child, childbirth is definitely on my mind. I am constantly reminded that I have a little person growing inside me, by the bumping and thumping and somersaulting going on, and the little hands and feet, elbows and knees and bum, often protruding from my ever-growing belly.

Erin has developed a fascination with baby beanie now that she can actually see there is something moving in there. I wonder what she thinks really? It is rather alien even to me, second time around, and sometimes quite incomprehensible that there can be a real little person in there - someone who is half me and half Steven, but a complete individual at the same time. Pregnancy is such an amazing time. I do love it. I can feel my attention turning inward more and more everyday as the special day looms closer, and I can feel a connection with this little being who is alive and kicking, and cannot wait to meet her!

My "plan" for this birth, (although I know plans do not always work out, I have no reason to believe that this won't), is to give birth in a birthing pool at our new home that our wonderful friends Andrew & Julie will be sharing with us as from next week, on the same farm where Erin was conceived. In a beautiful little private section of the lounge, where there are Buddhist shrines, a fireplace and a wonderful feeling of peace and tranquility.

The birthing pool is inflatable, big enough for Steven to get in with me (very important!) and looks like this. It has a little step to sit on, and handles to pull yourself forward during contractions, etc. Advantages of water in labour are many...interesting video here .

So, given all this, it goes without saying that I want a drug free birth and I want to be as active as possible during my birth, as I want gravity and nature to assist in the delivery of our new baby girl as much as possible. I enjoyed being in the water so much when in labour with Erin, and can't imagine going without it. It was warm, comforting and felt safe. So hold thumbs for us...

To answer a question many ask me: Why would I choose to have a natural birth if I could have drugs or a caesarean section and not feel a thing?

I cannot always find the right words to explain it, without making other people feel like I'm criticizing their choices (or often their doctors choices - whether legitimate or not, is another question altogether...), but my reasons are many and go something like this:

• Pregnancy and Childbirth are not illnesses, they are completely natural and (in the majority of cases) if not tampered with and if we can let go of the horror stories we hear which just feed the fear, which causes negative thoughts and stress during birth, which I believe in many cases is what causes things to go wrong in the first place, I believe that the majority of us can and should give birth naturally. (I say this because everyone I know who has been completely relaxed about giving birth, fully trusting their bodies and believing in birth being a perfectly natural process has given birth naturally, without intervention.) The infant and mother mortality rate is lower in natural home births, than in births that have been messed with.

• Childbirth is a rite of passage. It is an event that marks your progress into motherhood. It is instinctive. It is beautiful. It is empowering. It is an other-wordly experience. It is transformative. I feel sad for those who have been convinced that birth is a medical procedure, as I really feel that they have missed out on something incredibly special and important in their life as a woman. There is a saying that goes: "Epidurals rip women off of an opportunity to experience themselves as competent adults" ~Margaret Egeland

• Epidurals, C-sections, Pain drugs all affect you and your brand new unborn baby. I just would not choose to drug my unborn child. (Obviously there are rare occasions where it is unavoidable) We go through pregnancy avoiding certain foods and alcohol and then at the most crucial moment for them (and us), we drug them(and ourselves). This goes against nature and is surely not kind. Women who have these interventions are more likely to struggle to establish breastfeeding, are more prone to post natal depression and often have trouble bonding with their babies. Not surprising when at the most important time, the minutes after birth, both are drugged, and the oxytocin (the incredible love & bonding hormone) is not released. These drugs stay in babies system for up to 5 days. I've seen video footage of the difference between a natural birth and one where drugs were involved, where the babies are placed on mum's tummy. The drugged ones just lie there, the undrugged ones crawl up and find the breast within minutes. As nature intended. In how many other ways do these drugs affect our newborns who cannot tell us how they're feeling? What are the long term affects of these drugs? Could they be related to the rise in Autism and other problems? Does this not make this important part of our journey into motherhood more difficult than it already is? A C-section is major surgery...here in the UK you cannot drive for 6 weeks. Do you really want to be recovering from major surgery while trying to bond with your new baby? We need to fight for our right to give birth naturally...very occasionally it is necessary to intervene, but not nearly as much as it happens... (it is interesting to note that if monkeys are given a c-section, they reject their babies...no oxytocin means bonding is much harder...)

• I want to feel everything. I do not want to be numb. I want to be there, present, in the moment. I want to feel the floods of oxytocin, of ecstasy and of pain.

• When I think of what baby is going through...from a safe, warm sack of water where she's been curled up for 9 months, hearing my heart beating, being nourished by my body, hearing muffled sounds to a cold and airy,(and sadly- often clinical) spacious world with gravity, loud noises, bright lights, to breathing on her own, eating on her own...I want to travel with her. I also want to feel something. I want to feel everything. I want to laugh and cry. I want her to be caught by me or passed straight onto my body for skin to skin contact with her new, soft, warm, slippery body. I want to be there for her 100%, help to reduce the shock of her transition to being a little earthling. I do not want her to be swept off and weighed, fingers and toes counted. I do not feel this is necessary, certainly not immediately. I want the best for her, naturally, I'm her mother.

By the sounds of it the birthing situation in South Africa is similar to that in America...over medicalised and a money making racket (In the US a hospital birth costs an average of $13000 and a homebirth with midwife costs $4000 and is safer!). Doctors make us believe that we cannot birth naturally, that we should not trust our own bodies and that we should trust them only (possibly not intentionally). They install a kind of fear that if we don't listen to them we will have problems. I would love all my friends (South African and American especially) to watch Ricki Lake's film called "The Business of Being Born". Trailer here http://www.thebusinessofbeingborn.com/trailer.php

It is indeed safer (statistically) to have a normal vaginal birth. The safest place for this is at your home or birthing unit with a midwife, because then you are not being pressured into having Pitocin (to hurry things up) and then an Epidural (because now the contractions are too strong too suddenly) and then more Pitocin (because the Epidural weakens the contractions) and then you can't feel the contractions but the baby can and goes into distress and you end up having an emergency c-section.... This all puts so much stress on your body and your brand new baby. Do your research before having a baby and know what you want.

Of course there is a time and place for c-section and other drugs, and thank God for them because they have saved lives. But the extent to which they are used nowadays is completely unnecessary and often just for the convenience of the doctor (which is why most c-sections are at 4pm or 10pm - before supper and before bed time), and often cause way more complications for mom and baby afterwards.

I believe being active in your labour plays a huge part in a succesful birth too. When you are lying on your back, you cannot use your tummy muscles properly, your pubic area is possibly at it's smallest and you are not working with gravity. When squatting or kneeling or standing, you are working with gravity. Baby's head is going in the right direction. You automatically move your hips, helping baby to do the twists and turns it needs to do in order to come out between your pelvic bones. As nature intended.

Squatting or kneeling are also the best positions to reduce the risk of tearing or episiotomy's. Think about it, squat and have a feel...everything is open wide...so different to when you are stranded on your back like a helpless turtle, with doctors holding your legs up and shouting orders at you.

The long and short of it all is that our bodies instinctively KNOW how to birth. All we have to do is listen. And enjoy the awesomeness of pushing out your own child and knowing that this is the kindest thing you can do for both of you.

Racism in South Africa

So, I'm no politician. Nor am I highly educated. I'm not living in South Africa, although I have been there recently. I guess in a way I have no right to have an opinion, but I do. I am concerned for my people, my friends.

I feel really sad to see the things that have been happening in the last week:

*The murder of Eugene Terre'Blanche (although I in no way would ever support his racist views and actions...Terre'Blanche spent three years in prison for assaulting a black petrol station worker and the attempted murder of a black security guard in 1996). Terre'Blanche's home was called "humble", but compared to the way his black workers live & many many black South African's live, it is luxurious.

*the mental singing of "Kill the Boer" by the ANC's Youth Leader, Julius Malema. He continues to sing it.

*The reaction to Terre'Blanche's death outside the court...some black people supporting the killing, and white people singing "Die Stem" the old national anthem from the Apartheid era. Then white people getting so up in arms and throwing things at and trying to attack the black people for singing the current South African national anthem "nkosi sikelel' iafrika" http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/8605175.stm

* the amazing reaction of the far right, racist AWB's Secretary General Andre Visagie on a live TV debate...to me just showing his lack of respect and tolerance and pure blindness. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/8610222.stm

Facts (in my eyes):

*Black people were the first on South African soil...therefore they have a certain right to feel like land was taken from them and it is our duty to try and make it fair.

* Black people were unfairly suppressed by apartheid for 46 years! This resulted in lack of education and the squatter camps, etc that we see today.

* South Africa has a history of white people killing black people, such as "the battle of the blood river" where around 3000 Zulu's were killed

Yet we still somehow feel we have a right to dominate black people...I think ignorantly and unknowingly. They are still our "maids" and "gardeners" under the belief that we are providing them with work. They wouldn't be able to do any other work, right? As they are not educated.

But somehow we don't see that as our problem.

But look at apartheid?? Maybe it is our problem?? We may not have been responsible for apartheid and we may have been really young when it ended, but our parents and grandparents were in some way, even if they just went along with it. Surely we need to take responsibility for that? Maybe if Black people had had the same chances and opportunities as us they'd be earning as much as us and living in decent conditions instead of living in squatter camps and travelling for hours to get to work at our houses, to practically bring our children up and clean our houses, only to get paid a tiny fraction of what we do.

Yet we feel it is our right to call Affirmative Action unfair. Why should black people get priority for jobs??? Perhaps because they had no opportunities for these jobs for 46 years.

We feel that having black people in our schools has lowered our children's level of education. But we don't see this as inevitable....a result of years of not allowing black people access to decent education. We don't see this as our problem?

We live in beautiful houses in lovely areas whilst the majority of black people live in squalor, often without electricity and clean running water, sharing their tiny, cold shack with their extended family all crammed into one room. We then wonder why we are targets of burglaries. Of course it's all black people who are committing these crimes. Who can blame them? (not that I'm condoning it, but if roles were reversed perhaps you'd feel similarly?)

I think it is unfair to blame all the violence on the black people. In the past, our white policemen let their dogs savage black people, simply for being black. A lot of South African's sleep with a gun or knife under their pillow and would kill a burglar in defence, but some would kill a burglar simply because he was on their property and call it defence. And maybe it makes sense, because there's the fear that if you don't kill first you will be killed, but I think some people just have this built-in racism and anger that makes them mad and feel they have a right to kill.

But it's all crazy and sad and I wish everyone could just take a step back and put things into perspective.

And I'm probably just as responsible because even though I'm not living in South Africa, I may be doing some things exactly the same if I was. I'd like to hear your thoughts!

Steven was in SA for the first time a few weeks ago and he felt he couldn't live there because it was still the majority of black people living in squalor and without cars, while the white people drove around and lived in nice houses and still made racist remarks about black people without even realising it. It is black people begging at traffic lights, not white. Things have changed since apartheid, but not as much as they could have. It is really sad.

Bee in my bonnet

I was given medication for a common girly problem (thrush) by a GP over a month ago. When I got home I read the paper that comes with it and it says not to take while pregnant or breastfeeding. Now I'm clearly pregnant, and the doctor didn't ask if I was breastfeeding!! I guess she presumed because Erin was a toddler and I was pregnant I wouldn't be breastfeeding. Why did she not suggest taken Acidophillus, or another harmless, natural probiotic? Why did she not advise me to cut down on sugar and other things that make thrush worse? Why so quick to hand out the drugs? Grrrr. Needless to say I didn't use the drugs and bought acidophillis instead, and am all better. Everytime I go to a doctor I vow not to go again unless I'm on my deathbed. I scared myself about thrush during pregnancy by too much research on the internet but ironically still followed my intuition/common sense at the end of the day.

My other rant: why does the media (film makers, etc) portray birth as a woman lying on her back, screaming, with her legs in stirrups and male doctors & nurses peering at her privates, horrible looking equipment and blood everywhere? I'm sure that this is a great contributor to there being so many interventions and horrible things happening during childbirth...it has helped birth become purely medical, scary and horrid and not at all special and just completely lose it's magic. The media has helped us to lose faith in our ability to birth naturally and beautifully, privately, safely and with dignity. Damn them!!!

Read my birth story or watch the videos below to see what I think birth is really about! Natural birth is so empowering, so incredible...I want every woman to experience it! We forget what our baby goes through coming into this world, why would we not want to experience this with him/her? Why would we want to drug him/her by drugging ourselves, only to wonder why breastfeeding is so difficult or why things don't feel right? Why would we want to increase our chances of postnatal depression? Why do we want to hinder the bonding process unnecessarily?I respect that some woman don't want to feel anything...but I do. I want be there 100% for the birth of my child! I want to feel the pain, I want to feel the ecstasy, I want my babe to be caught by me or my hubby and put straight into my arms...no need to count fingers and toes straight away, right? It's not like counting them right away is going to make any difference...

I know there are occasions when interventions save lives and are necessary, but these are rare. Let's De-medicalise and reclaim birth!

Photo's of South Africa

South Africa part 1

South Africa part 2

Kitty's photo's of Madhatters Tea Party & Wedding

I think the photos say it all...we had a wonderful time! Friends, sunshine, mountains, happy times...what more could a girl want?! Jus & Jo's wedding was out of this world!

Pregnancy tips...

Did you know?

* Perineum Massage helps to soften the skin and improve elasticity to help prevent tears and stitches during childbirth. Stimulates blood supply and helps speed healing process after birth. Nature's Mother sells a blend of Olive Oil and Rose Petal Extract to use in the last month of pregnancy. Apply a few drops of this oil daily and massage into the perineum.

* Raspberry Leaf tea is traditionally used to prepare uterine muscles for labour, but is also beneficial for morning sickness, to sooth and prevent bleeding gums, relax muscles in uterus while it is contracting, assist the birth of baby and placenta and calm the cramping of the uterus. Raspberry Leaf is also a rich source of iron, calcium, manganese and magnesium and contains Vitamins B1, B3 & E

* Arnica Homeopathic remedy is used for physical exhaustion, over exertion, shock, reducing bruising, sprains, insomnia due to overtiredness, aches, pains & bleeding.

* Chamomile is an excellent herb for treating various digestive disorders, is known to effectively combat stress and depression, can be used to defeat insomnia by acting like mild sedative. Relaxes muscles which can relieve cramps. Helps to heal skin irritations and can help in the fight against acne.

* Ginger regulates a whole range of body processes and thereby prevents disease. It is an excellent treatment for all kinds of nausea, including morning sickness, and is a really effective in treating all kinds of digestive problems and stimulating the circulatory system. Studies show it is as effective as leading anti-nausea medicines and is completely harmless.

* Nettle leaves are very beneficial both medically and nutritionally. They are very rich in minerals, especially calcium, potassium and iron. They aid digestion, kidney function and blood circulation and have been used to stimulate the secretion of mother’s milk, to treat bites and stings and to treat lung disorders . Native Americans used this tea to aid pregnancy, childbirth and nursing.

* Buying Herbal tea's in loose leaf form ensures that you are getting a pure product and the recommended quantity. Nature's Mothers teas are certified Organic.

* During pregnancy the body starts to produce more red blood cells and plasma in order to have enough for the foetus. A woman’s iron reserves will become strained and so it is important to provide the body with extra iron to meet this extra demand. Iron is also required to produce the mother’s milk which covers the baby’s demand for iron Babies absorb approximately 50% of the contained iron. Floradix contains iron in an easily absorbable form as well as vitamin C to enhance the iron absorption. It also contains Herbal extracts to maintain healthy digestion and B-vitamins for blood formation and energy release. It is free from chemical preservatives, colourings and flavourings. Floradix is suitable for vegetarians.

* Mum 2 Be stretch mark oil: Sweet Almond, Jojoba and Borage Oils blended Lavender and Sweet Orange Essentials oils has been developed to help prevent and reduce stretch marks and maintain healthy skin, whilst relaxing you and making you feel pampered.

* Active Birth can help prevent birth complications & interventions. Nature's Mother sells the New Active Birth book by Janet Balaskas

* ALL OF THESE ARE AVAILABLE IN A KIT OR SEPERATELY FROM www.naturesmother.co.uk. CURRENTLY ON SPECIAL OFFER!!

* The Nature's Mother forum discusses pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding and parenting.

* The Nature's Mother Forum has a resident Midwife, Doula, Breastfeeding Peer Supporter, Homeopath, and other alternative therapists to answer your questions! Join for free today at www.naturesmother.co.uk (go to "join forum")