Monday, February 18, 2008

The lessons of pregnancy...

We are without internet for a while as we've just moved house for the 6th time in less than 2 years. We hope to stay in our lovely new home for at least the next 2 or 3 years.

I wanted to share some of the things I’ve learnt from being pregnant:

Emotional & psychological:

  • No warning prepares you for the hormonal changes...your emotions go mad (especially in the first 3 months). You can go from feeling wonderfully over the moon to absolutely miserable and thoroughly irritable in a flash...and you can’t seem to help unleashing this on those you love, even though you watch yourself doing it and know that it’s not fair.
  • The idea of looming motherhood can be overwhelming and so scary, and all kinds of childhood issues seem to pop up...some can make you want to run away all over again (thankfully that bit is over for me!). You question your mothering abilities.
  • The idea of sex (for some of us) can just seem absurd, and you really have to improvise and find other ways of making love. Your nipples can also become associated with providing nourishment for your baby, and can lose all other purpose! I learnt from working with alpacas on the farm that if a female alpaca is pregnant she kicks and spits at the male and won’t let him anywhere near her...I admittedly felt like this a lot of the time especially in the first few months! HOWEVER, sex is not to be discouraged in pregnancy! And some lucky women enjoy it more than before. It is not in any way dangerous or unhealthy (although you may want to avoid it in the first 3 months if you’re prone to miscarriage, just for peace of mind)...orgasm is healthy for you, your lover and the baby and along with a good curry it encourages the baby to come...bear that in mind if you go over your due date! Orgasm can cause Braxton Hicks contractions, so don’t be alarmed, this is actually good for preparing your uterus for the real thing.
  • You become part of a whole different realm...the realm of motherhood-to-be. You think differently, your interest in parents, other people’s children and how parents deal with their children’s problems increases. You become more observant and communicative.
  • Insecurities are emphasised and sometimes blown right out of proportion, especially if you feel you are not being a good enough partner (the moods you take out on him, the fear of inadequacy as a mother or lover)
  • Once the first 3 or 4 months are over, you can feel happy , elated, energetic and excited most of the time. You start appreciating the lack of PMT properly.
  • You never get used to the idea that you’re going to give birth to a real live baby at some stage. Watching and feeling it move makes it feel so near yet so far away.
  • You unconditionally love your baby that you can’t yet believe you’re giving birth to.
  • Having a partner who accepts and understands that you’re often feeling a bit whacky in one way or another is invaluable...thank you Steven!!xxx
  • In the later weeks the realisation of what a massive journey you’re about to partake in is overwhelming. You are responsible for a little life. You can no longer do what you want, when you want, you have a little human being to consider.
  • Occasional fears of labour and childbirth creep up, although I am really excited to give birth.

Physical:

  • The books all say that at 12 weeks the fatigue and moodiness will be over and you’ll be entering the blooming phase...this is not necessarily true, I think I waited till about 16 or 18 weeks before I felt truly good.
  • The books all say that you’ll feel your baby move from 16 weeks...this is not necessarily true either, many first time moms wait till around 20 weeks, and it was 21 weeks before I recognised the difference between the baby moving and my tummy rumbling.
  • Your gums can start bleeding when you brush your teeth...it’s quite alarming if you don’t know about it.
    “The hormones which promote and maintain your pregnancy have an effect on all your body systems. The gradual increase in blood volume and the effect of
    pregnancy hormones on connective tissue and mucous membranes combine to make bleeding from the tiny blood vessels (capillaries) of your mouth and nose more likely.”
    http://www.babycentre.co.uk/pregnancy/antenatalhealth/physicalhealth/bleedinggumsexpert/
  • A lot of pregnant woman get a stuffy nose, me included.
    “The hormones of pregnancy may cause the lining of your nose and sinuses to
    swell, so you feel continually blocked up and stuffy. Hormones are also to blame for dilatation (widening) of the tiny blood vessels in your nose, a change that
    increases the chance of nosebleeds. This enhanced blood supply may also cause
    increased mucus production, so your nose is always runny.”
    http://www.babyworld.co.uk/information/pregnancy/pregnancyproblems/pregprobs_nasal_problems.asp
  • Your breasts get big and veiny, your nipples dark and you can develop a butterfly mask on your face (dark pigmentation) and most woman get a dark line down the middle of their tummies, called the linear nigra which disappears up to 6 months after giving birth.
  • The feeling of your baby moving inside you is one you can’t put into words. It’s completely weird, alien and wonderful.
  • You should be massaging your perineum with wheat germ oil later in pregnancy...this decreases your chances of tearing or needing an episiotomy.
  • Everyone (boys included) should be doing 50 pelvic floor exercises per day....especially pregnant women and after you’ve had your baby...this is to prevent incontinence later in life.
  • Yoga is a fantastic way to relax and stay supple while pregnant. It is helpful for an active birth as it teaches breathing as well as helping you stay flexible. Pregancy yoga classes also give you the opportunity to meet other people who are going through the same things.

Preggie diet debate:

  • There are many things you are not meant to eat during pregnancy and if you had to follow them all you would starve...I have concluded that I will do what feels right and good for me and the baby. We lived on a farm and drank unpasteurised goats milk (thanks to our goaty friends Harmony, Buffy & Faith) and ate unpasteurised soft cheese, and mayonnaise and lived on a farm with close contact to Ewes and their new lambs, had a cat share the bed with us, had my hands in the soil regularly(without gloves) and drank filtered water from a spring....while some may be shocked at this, it felt right and I think this was the healthiest lifestyle for me in those first few months. I didn’t get Listeria. Only 10 pregnant women in the whole of the UK got it in 2004. In my opinion, as long as you’re sensible, wash your hands regularly after doing soily, animaly things and follow your intuition, I feel that it is much better to live a healthy lifestyle and eat these things than stay indoors, protected from disease, and avoid most foods for fear of contamination. Listeria is more often caught from ready meals that have been cooked and then chilled for some time before consumption than it is from fresh produce. For more information on Listeria see http://www.hpa.org.uk/infections/topics_az/listeria/menu.htm and http://www.amm.co.uk/files/factsabout/fa_list.htm
  • Alcohol is currently a big no-no during pregnancy. That could change again tomorrow. It is obvious that excessive alcohol is harmful to you and your baby. It is a fact that alcohol passes through the placenta to your growing baby. Women who drink over six units of alcohol per day are at risk of having babies with fetal alcohol syndrome (FAS). Children born with FAS suffer from mental and growth retardation, behavioural problems, and facial and heart defects. Babies of women who drink more than two glasses of alcohol a day throughout their pregnancy are more likely to have more problems with learning speech, attention span, language, and hyperactivity than babies of women who did not drink. There is no evidence that a unit of alcohol once a week or once every 2 weeks does any harm to the baby. I have a couple of drinks per month guilt free. Our mothers were encouraged to drink Milk Stout when they were pregnant as a source of iron, and we seem ok.
  • There are many herbs and aromatherapy oils which must be avoided during pregnancy. (as well as pharmaceuticals, obviously!)

Practical:

  • You do not need to buy half the baby products that are recommended by books...a lot can be homemade or are just plain unnecessary.
  • Most babycare soaps and products have chemicals in them, yes even J&J. I’m opting for as little product use as possible and organic/natural wherever necessary.
  • You may think I’m crazy but I’m going for cloth nappies, I’m not sure what type yet...either the traditional terry towelling or the ones with poppers probably. I want to be as kind as possible to the environment, to my baby and to my pocket. (7000 tonnes of disposable nappy waste are sent to Cornwalls landfill sites each year!) I will probably be slightly hypocritical and use disposables for outings/holidays and perhaps even night times... Check out the Cornish Real Nappy Project http://www.crnp.org.uk/
  • Slings are by far preferable to carry cots or those horrid travel system things where the poor baby gets moved in the car seat from car to pram, having none of the contact and closeness that they need. There are many different types of slings, most sensible for little babies to me being the wraparound, as it goes around both shoulders and your waist, supports babies head and neck and you can even breast feed (hands free) in it.
  • You can improvise with a lot of things:
    o Crib and cot sheets can be cut from double or single bed sheets
    o Slings/ baby carriers can be made in a jiffy (no skills required). Check out these excellent websites: http://mamatoto.org/Default.aspx?tabid=121 and http://www.bigmamaslings.co.uk/zen-cart/page.html?id=12
    o You can use muslin cloth for new born nappies, for some folds see http://www.ecobean.co.uk/folds.html
    o You can get second hand baby stuff off freecycle for free!
  • Go for a maternity bra fitting around 20 weeks (or whenever you feel you are starting to bulge out of your bras). Go for a nursing bra fitting around 36 weeks. Marks & Spencer are good.
  • Mother blessings sound a lot more positive and nice than baby showers. Check out http://pregnancy.about.com/cs/blessingway/a/aa102202a.htm

Great pregnancy products:

  • FLORADIX is an iron supplement available from The Natural Store and probably most health shops. It is completely natural and safe during pregnancy (or anytime!) It does not cause constipation and is packed with fruity herby goodness. It really helped me to get over the feeling of fatigue and increased my general energy level. I highly recommend it!!
  • New Era Calc. Fluor. Is a homeopathic remedy available in pharmacies and health stores. It is a “biochemic remedy for maintaining tissue elasticity, and for impaired circulation, varicose veins and piles”. In other words it helps to prevent stretch marks, varicose veins and piles (all common in pregnancy). It cannot harm you or baby and I’ll let you know after the birth how it faired on the stretch marks...but so far, none of the above and 6 weeks to go!
  • Mummylicious (by little me baby organics) is an organic stretch mark oil. A fab pregnancy gift...thanks Kitty! It makes your skin feel lovely, gives you an excuse to rub your belly (always clockwise!), talk to your baby and has a gentle rosehip, lavender and sweet orange fragrance. Great before bedtime!
  • Raspberry leaf tea...simply pick raspberry leaves from your garden and add boiling water or buy it in tea bag form from Health stores or buy it dried from the Natural Store. It softens the cervix in preparation for giving birth and is tasty with a dash of honey. You should be drinking 4 cups a day by 36 weeks so you may want to start with a cup a day around 30 weeks and slowly work your way up. It is a fable that a cup here and there in early pregnancy will cause miscarriage.

Great preggie/baby books:


Natural Pregnancy by Zita West
The Secret of Happy Children by Steve Biddulph
Active Birth: The New Approach to Giving Birth Naturally by Janet Balaskas
You are your Childs First Teacher by Rahima Baldwin

6 weeks to go...wish me luck!! Lots of love

Blogs to follow(hopefully):

  • Why I’d like to have an active birth
  • Why I’d like to have an active water birth

Friday, February 01, 2008

Moving

Close up!Surrounding villages.

We're moving next week. We got lucky once again....see our new location!