Nuus van die plaas af & please sponsor me...

Life has taken a few twists, some planned and some not, all of which are positive (I think).

Steven and I are now living in a mobile home, and have our own space together for the first time…YAY! Well, not our own, but you know what I mean. We live on our own. On the farm where Andrew and Julie live and several WWOOFers come and go. We wake up in the morning to the birds tweeting, fresh air, a baaing not too far in the distance and are even occasionally rudely awakened by the sound of alpaca’s making love (not the prettiest sound!) We are now working only 2 days a week on the farm, which is quite a relief as we’ve been real busy bodies for the last 6 months and it’ll be nice to have a lie in on the odd morning.

Steven has been accepted into the Film Studies course at the University of Falmouth, and starts full-time in September. I am so proud of him and very excited and inspired by him!! He’s going to make a great film Director one day. (No pressure my love!) ;-)

I’m so inspired by Steven reaching for his dreams in fact, that I’ve decided to quit my job and become an astronaut. Yup, I want to go to space. Trouble is, I got an F for maths in high school, so I’ve had to rethink that and have decided to follow my 3 main do-able dreams (they’re main for now anyway…watch this space!!). Steiner school teacher training is, well, too long, too far away, too scarey and too expensive. I’d also love to do a smallholding and bee keeping course, but as I’m learning so much on the farm and we’re pretty far from having our own land, that can wait. Nursing sounds great but the NHS is just not the happiest place at the moment, and I’m still not absolutely 100% sure that it’s me, so that’ll have to wait. Back to the 3 main do-able dreams for the moment…they are as follows:

§ Holistic Massage – those of you who’ve witnessed my powerful paws need to encourage me to actually take this course which starts part time in September and is completely do-able. (Shellz, Jo and possibly a few more of the New York clan – can’t remember). Even if I never use it professionally, Steven scores loads of freebies (as could you if you came to visit) and he will no doubt be my volunteer for practicals….so all for Steven having his own private masseuse...push me!

§ Teaching yoga – ok, I know I hardly practice it, but I’ve wanted to teach yoga for as long as I’ve known what yoga is. I thought I was too old but recently I read in the Spirit & Destiny about a girl who started practicing Bikram Yoga at 28 and now at 32 owns her own yoga studio in Brighton. If she can do it, I can! Right?! Thank you Spirit & Destiny for giving me hope! J I’ll be 28 this year, I better get a wriggle on!

§ Computers (web design or illustration, I think) – This one may come as a shock as I’m now this hardcore farmer chick who drives tractor loads of poo, injects animals and puts up fences. Well, I know office life isn’t exactly my future, but I think I’m pretty good at picking up computer thingies and I figured out how to alter and improve my blog in that strange computer lingo all on my own (no doubt I’m not the only one). If I could be a freelance web designer, I could work from home, earn good money and ok, I’ll admit it, I’m a technology addict. I’d love it. I think I’d make a pretty good technician too..!!

But really, I have quit my job. I have 3 weeks left… I’m not quite sure what I’m going to do. I’ve realised that I put too much heart and soul into my carework and get way too involved with clients and their problems become mine…which is not all bad, but it hasn’t made me the happiest person. Working one on one with a client in their home for over 40 hours a week is fun and rewarding a lot of the time but often very intense and frustrating. Especially if you’re a bit of a perfectionist and you want everything to be right for the client, and unfortunately as hard as you try, you cannot make it right. And if you’re a little self critical you tend to blame yourself for not making it right, even if it was an impossible task. And if they’re a little critical too, than you convince yourself that you are a horrible mean person who is not good enough and can’t even be a carer. And the only way to regain some of that niceness you once had, is to quit your job. At the end of the day, if something doesn’t make you happy, why do you do it???

So… I’ve applied for a job with West Cornwall Womens Aid (Admin & Finance Co-ordinator). The salary is great for Cornwall, it’s for a good cause, it’s only 30 hours a week and hell!! if it carries on raining like this, I might as well be sitting in an office! I’m not holding my breath though. I may instead apply to work part-time in a home with people with Autism. This would not be as intense as what I’m currently doing as I’ll be spreading my attention. I will broaden my care experience and maybe even discover my calling, or at least have one more thing to cross off the list. It may also give me the opportunity to do my NVQ3 in Health and Social Care, which I believe is a step away from becoming a Social Worker. Do I still want to become a social worker?

Martha, a fab girl who works part time at Qura, has also recently introduced me to a couple with the most gorgeous, lively 3 children who may need my help from September on, as a 4th is due and Martha can no longer work there as she’s going to Uni in Plymouth. What is more is that they are busy starting up the first alternative, Steiner inspired school in Cornwall….and I just may have the opportunity to see how it all works. They live quite close to where I live now, on a beautiful smallholding in the countryside and seem like just the type of people I could really connect with. Hmmm…I really hope something comes of this!

Another bright side to all of this is that I have a very cute roof over my head, I have fresh air, an abundance of goats milks, chickens eggs and fresh fruit and veggies as long as I spend 2 days a week outdoors on the farm, doing fun things that some call work. I have my most loving and adorable husband, and amazing friends and great company on the farm.

I’ve had a few exciting weekends away in the last few months. On the 9th of June I joined a gathering of ex-peebs in Maidenhead outside of London. I drove up with my friend Joe (also an ex pb). It was really good to meet up with people who have been through similar experiences, who therefore have similar hang-ups and sigh the same happy sigh of freedom. It was not an opportunity to speak badly of the peebs, as they may think, but just an opportunity to meet with those who understand what it’s like be distanced from those you love, simply for not believing what they believe. Those who are not going to expect you to join in conversations of the TV programmes they watched in their youth, or what you studied after school, or all those things us we didn’t grow up with or opportunities we did not have…you get my drift. It also helped me to rediscover that feeling of being happy to be different, and while feeling different from the “world” even feeling happily different in the ex-peeb world. Sometimes I strive so hard to fit in that I lose my Self and am ecstatic when I once again come to the realisation that it’s amazingly liberating not to be a clone, or a blind follower. It was a great pleasure to reconnect with those of you I’ve met before and to meet those I haven’t met before. Thank you Uncle George and Auntie Dinah for making us feel so welcome in your home, and taking such good care of us.

Two weekends later, Steven and I went to Bristol where we met up with Rob & Claire as the boys wanted to plan a hike they’re going to do in September. Claire & I thought about spending that week in Spain…well we can dream! Perhaps a couple of nights camping on Dartmoor will suffice. We spent a morning wondering the shops of Bristol (and spending too much) and later we rejoined the boys and headed for the bar with the view of the suspension bridge, where we met up with the lovely Sarah and handsome Lofty. We had a bite to eat and persuaded S&L to help us set up our beautiful new tent in a campsite near Bath. We had a BBQ and the 6 of us spent an enjoyable evening, in a very beautiful place and ended up playing card games and having conversations about global warming(amongst other things). There were 4 opinions(bearing in mind I had had a beer or two so these may just be my interpretation)…
1. Global Warming is natural evolution and we should let it be, if the ice age hadn’t ended our world as we know it wouldn’t exist.(good point)
2. Global warming is propaganda
2. Global warming is real but it’s too little, too late to change it or slow it down.
3. Global warming seems to be real - judging by climate change, etc so if we can be doing things that could possibly improve the lives of our children, why not do as much as we can. (Amen!)What do you think?
The following day Steven and I parted company with R&C and we went shopping in Bristol again and then later met up with S&L in their lovely home for a pizza before our journey home. Was great to re-bond with you Sarah!

The following weekend we took the train to Brighton to visit Jojo & Jus. We chilled at Jus& Jo’s and went shopping and made food and chatted and went for walks on the beach, explored the nearby park (in between rain clouds)etc. I really miss having close friends on the farm, and seeing Jo really made me appreciate her friendship once again. It also makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and really happy to see how good Jus & Jo are together! I love you guys!
I shared with Jo my latest dilemma…the supermarket dilemma….do I buy medium priced fairly healthy and reasonably free of preservative food, or do I do organic, fair-trade and sometimes obscenely expensive food?? At the moment I am leaning towards the latter because I don’t want to put any shite into my body. I certainly feel that meat should be organic, because I know about the growth hormones etc that are pumped into non-organic meat…but I don’t always practice what I preach, thankfully I eat vegetarian most of the time. I also don’t like the idea of the poor animals being overcrowded in trucks to the slaughter…I would like to know that it’s been done ethically & with consideration for the poor little creatures. I think fresh produce should be local, because you just don’t know what’s been done to things to keep them from going rotten. (Imported tomatoes, for example, get nuked with radiation before being packed into aircraft which omit plenty of carbon). Thank God for the endless supply on the farm!! Of course sista Kitty’s input was missed and our ravings on about crystals and energy and all that fairy hobbity stuff was incomplete without you Orangeblossom! I hope Africa is making your soul sing and you bring the sunshine back with you when you come! How do you feel about my supermarket dilemma?
I really enjoyed Brighton, it’s so full of art and culture and has all types of people, which I miss. It was great to have the buzz of a mini city and have shops and bars and places to go, but by day 2 I found myself subconsciously yearning for the quiet of the countryside. Although I seriously enjoyed getting down and dirty to some dance music at a seaside club. Even if it was just an hour of boogying.
Jo & I went to see Suzanne Vega on Monday night at the Brighton Dome. She was fantastic and played all my favourite songs…Caramel, Luka, Toms Diner, The Queen & the Soldier, Small Blue thing. Her supporting act was amazing too. His name was David Ford and he had an angelic looking fellow musician. They seemed to play an incredible amount of instruments between them. I will look them up!!

It was good to get back home and snuggle with Steven in our new home and have a little time to chill before having to be back at work.

I can’t remember when it was exactly but not long ago a bunch of us from the farm went to see the Nederlands Ballet Company in Truro. They’re a modern ballet company and we all found them absolutely breath taking, so if they’re in your area and it’s your kinda thing, get there!

Another thing you must do if you come to Cornwall is head for the Minack Theatre. It’s outdoors in the most beautiful setting and you pack a picnic and take some wine (and a blanket).

Last but not least…I need your help to raise funds for Cancer Research. I’m doing a Relay for Life which is an annual event lasting 24 hours, where each team will have somebody on the track (walking around a sports field) at all times to reflect the fact that research into cancer is continuous. If you can spare a few rands/pounds/dollars to help perhaps save those we love in the future, please click on http://www.donatetomyrelay.org/sharonmackay . Please sponsor me...It is secure and safe.

Much love, fairy dust and many blessings