friendships.

I was going to title todays blog something like 'struggle with loss' and then i realised that i wouldn't be feeling loss of family & friends if I hadn't gained them first. I should be thanking them for the privilege of knowing them and learning from them.

What the hell is she on about?

I guess you are bored of hearing about this wonderful Mikey dude. The one who passed away a 3 and a half months ago. Well, he's just been on my mind a lot again. And Jo's. We talk about him a lot. I just cannot believe that he is actually gone sometimes. A few mornings ago i ripped one of his many pictures from my wall and told him to come back to life. Aah, what i'd give to hear his voice, see his name pop up on my msn messenger, or see that smile and those twinkly eyes. To watch him surf, or better have him teach me to surf again...to hear him encourage me, even when i'm a blatantly shit. Even to hear his sarcasm, to argue with him, to have him put me in my place, challenge my thought patterns, discuss hopes and dreams, coffee shops, backpackers, surfschools. To appreciate nature, walk beside him, to relive that walk in the pouring rain in the streets of Long Island. To retalk all our chats. But that was not to be. He is gone, the beautiful memories will linger forever. I am lucky to have loved him, to have been loved by him. I am blessed to have all those wonderful, precious, and difficult, times with him. I can only be thankful for what i have learnt along the way. Thank you Mikey!

Yesterday I accidently stumbled upon the blog of a very brave man. Eric is dying of cancer at 40 years old, and is recording all the emotions he is going through. I was deeply saddened but also intrigued and interested to read what he had to say.

I am busy experiencing another loss. Not caused by death. But, sadly, caused by religion. The same that I have lost my family to.

I have two special friends who are planning to return to the peebs(EBs). They spent the weekend with me two weeks ago. Below are pics. I will not say more today for fear of spitting all my emotions all over this page. I just wish it was not so.

We spent a great couple of days together at my home and in Camden Town and 1001 in Bricklane. I cannot change others choices, as much as i long to. I am just happy for the times we shared.

Much love, peace and strength to make the right choices.

The Wandering One xoxoxo