don't wanna let go

Shooo...it was almost 2 weeks ago already when we all met at Slug & Lettuce to say howzit to Mike a few days after he arrived. It was great to get everyone in one place and celebrate, have a few too many pints, and even dance to some cheesy slug music...and in my case, burst into drunken tears and leave for no valid reason.(it was valid enough to me, ok? especially in my tired, semi-drunk state). I saw Somayya for the first time in months, it was really good to just put our sh*t behind us and get on with being friends already. I am going to spend some time with her tonight, at an Islamic function/speech of some sort. Since religions are intriguing to me, this will be interesting methinks. I like the basic principals of Islam, those that I know about at least.

On Tuesday Mike got the final results to his diagnosis (as you know he has just finished a year of Chemo and was supposed to be BETTER!) But this is not the case. I knew what time he was seeing the doctor, and after calling his phone only to hear it go into voice mail about 5 times, I waited for him to call me. I was sitting in a pub with a friend who was down from Coventry for a little while, and the phone rang. The minute he said "Sobey, I need to see you in Baker Street in half an hour" I knew that what we'd all been dreading had been confirmed. Neville was cool and totally understanding (having been there himself) when I had a little freak out and said I needed to go. No matter how much you prepare yourself for these things, it is always a shock. My mind kind of switched off and I found my way to the station and onto the train, and while I knew the truth, all I could think was "tell me it's all fine, that it's not spread, that you will be fine soon". I met up with him and his parents at the Globe in Baker Street and he told me the truth. That the cancer has infact spread, up his spine, into his pelvis, chest and bone marrow...and the dreaded words, there is not much more they can do. He is on a 2 week course of Chemo (which the doctors do not think will make a difference...but it's worth a try) and then he is going back to SA(where medical aid will cover) for an operation to remove some of the tumour, just to alleviate his pain. Once he has recovered from that, he will probably come back to London to give Clinical Trials a bash, and to spend time with his family. It was his 27th birthday yesterday. I went over for supper and me and his sister made food. It was very cool to spend time with them, and I think we just have to focus on making the most of every day, and being there for him in every way possible. All his friends in PE had a dinner for him last night and called him and cheers'd to him many times, it was very sweet!! He is so loved by so many people, and has touched so many lives and he is a massive inspiration to all. I just feel blessed to have met him. He is at peace with the situation too, which makes me feel more peaceful, but not much less sad. He's amazing. It's so good to have him here...oh, how i want to be possessive and never let him go. But i can't and won't.

Sanel had her farewell on Sunday...my bokkie and closest neighbour and friend has left me to go help disabled people! She too has and is going to still touch many lives, I am lucky to have met her. We had lunch at the Little Bay in Wandsworth, which is like fairyland inside. It has all these little enclosed tables and secretive upstairs areas, plenty of bright colours and fantastical decor. The toilets have the most amazing art...it's bordering on porn/erotica, but it's very arty and very beautiful. Lunch was suprisingly cheap for the choice and quality of food we got too...Highly recommended, especially for a romantic evening out!

I've been spending some time with Shells, and emailing Petal a lot, and phoning Janine and Somayya, and they too have been amazing friends(amongst everyone else) and we manage to lift each other up, and I know we will get through these tough times because we have each other. I am really very lucky to have the friends that I do.

We (well, Petal & Shelly actually) managed to get Mike a ticket for the rugby in Cardiff tommorrow. There's gonna be quite a group of us going, it's going to be so much fun. I(and his folks) worry about Mike since he's pretty knackered lately(with the chemo & heavy pain pills), but he is SOO psyched for it, so I hope he can make it. SA vs Wales...should be grrreat!!

may the fairies be with you xoxo