Thomas's Monday Morning Poetry

Good morning all!

Tomorrow’s a pubic holiday! Eine kleine nachmusik I can’t wait! But why wasn’t it made a Monday? It would have been a far more sensible option.

I’m busy preparing for the biggest fishing challenge to be launched since that big albino whale, Moby Dick, was targeted by Captain Ahab (why did he go for an albino whale?): The Blacktail 500.

The Blacktail is an unique little fish. You usually catch it when you are fishing for something bigger, such as shad, musselcracker, kob etc. Every time you catch one, you want to swear at it, but you don’t because it fights incredibly well for its size and also tastes fantastic when pan fried with a few choice herbs and spices and the odd squeezed lemon. The best way to describe its fighting abilities is to compare it with a Jack Russell. All heart.

So, my brothers and I are launching the Blacktail 500 tomorrow. There are a few rules to be followed: only coffee grinder reels are allowed to be used and the line used may not be stronger than 5kgs. There is some dissent concerning bait. One brother feels that only periwinkle should be allowed. I feel that the choice should be the fisherman’s. Who knows what will happen tomorrow.

The following fishing poem is written by an unkown poet, but judging by this poem, I am sure that he is soon to be compared to notables such as Shakespeare. The poet’s name is Greg Keeler.

Ballad of the Dubious Angler

For those who think the trout is smart,
here's a little hint.
I have caught the wily trout
on a piece of dryer lint.

For those who think the trout survives
high in a crystal vapor,
I have caught the trout among
flecks of toilet paper.

For those who think a fresh caught trout
is fit for haut cuisine,
I have eaten some that taste
like a soggy magazine.

For those who think a brown trout's brain's
substantial, here's a clue.
A brown trout's brain is shaped much like
a miniature kazoo.

For those who ooh and ah about
the patterns on a trout,
to me they look much better
whenyou turn them inside out.

For those who chase the wily trout
with esoteric gear,
I'd just as soon pursue them with
explosives or a spear.


Tootle pip.
Thomas